Dick’s Nuggets
Dick started out to be a rocket scientist and ended up devoting his life to his friends, family and the environment. I first encountered Dick at work, when we were both transferred to a new department and placed in offices beside each other. We became friends as well as coworkers and every morning he would stand in my office door with an observation, about the day, about life, about what he was thinking at that moment. Sometimes his nuts, or nuggets, would take physical form, a book or article or map or other interesting thing. One of his best nuts was another person, Anne, who was involved in giving “sacred places” workshops in Maryland and Virginia (you can a link to her website from this page). Here are many of Dick’s nuggets, the ones I remember, in the order he gave them to me.
If you have comments, or would like to contribute nuts of your own, please send an email to wisdomtoshare@kittyco.net.
THE FIRST NUT
SIMPLIFYING NUTS
I read Simplify Your Life from cover to cover the day Dick gave it to me. And was fascinated by another simplification nut, from Dick’s wife, Elaine.
Simplify Your Life, 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter, by Elaine St. James
This wonderful book offers 100 ways to free up space and time so that you can enjoy life more fully. Two ways that really made a difference for me were: “84. Just say no” (don’t accept social invitations you aren’t interested in), and “22. Build a simple wardrobe” (pick a simple, classic style that looks good on you and stick with it). Other examples: “86. Resign from any organizations whose meetings you dread,” and “75. If it’s not working, stop doing it”.
Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, by Karen Kingston, Broadway Books, New York, 1998.
This is the best book I’ve seen on the psychology of letting go of your things. It provides practical advice on how to identify and deal with your clutter and a very concise introduction to using the Feng Shui bagua.
ORGANIZING NUTS
I used to have lists and notes everywhere, until Dick gave me a little black book with an elastic band around it (see more below). Now, I keep the book in my purse or pocket, and anything I need to write, whatever the subject, goes into it.
Moleskine (R), a legendary notebook that the European artists and intellectuals used.
This little black book has an elastic strap and a pocket in the back. It is available at most bookstores, and can be purchased lined, or with graph paper inside.
OTHER LINKS:
COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS
Dick is quite a technology buff and maintains an extensive correspondence over the net. He discovered an article for the Chicago Tribune, written by Mary Schmich, who was, in Dick’s words, “in the zone” when she wrote the article. A tongue in cheek address to graduates written at that time of year, her article was a true “nut” of accumulated wisdom.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
E-mail Mary Schmich at mschmich@tribune.com.
Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young. Originally published: Sunday, June 1, 1997. Web-posted: Saturday, August 2, 1997
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who’d rather be Rollerblading.
Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there’s no reason we can’t entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice
has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
AFFILIATE LINKS:
amazon.com
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